HOW TO: protect yourself from emotional contagion
Emotional contagion is the subconscious attachment to emotions that are not our own — when we ‘catch other people’s emotions’. We would all be familiar with the phenomenon of contagious laughter — seeing someone else laugh and then finding it almost impossible not to smile or even laugh with them. The main reason this happens is due to the fact that our brains contain mirror neurons — a class of nerve cells that are activated both when we perform an action and when we watch it being performed by someone else. Our mirror system transforms visual information into knowledge, giving us the capacity to learn to do an action from seeing it done.
Humans have evolved to accurately interpret the mood states of those around us through detailed emotional pattern recognition. Without conscious thought, we are able to gather information from sensory cues and we can detect subtle variances in expression and behaviour to form judgments on how others might be feeling. Judgments in this case, are not a bad thing — they help us to respond appropriately and relate to others. At a primal level, emotional recognition increased survival chances in early humans. Emotional expression and perception allowed us to share experiences and communicate intentions, which helped us learn from each other to better adapt to environmental challenges.
As a whole, we have become pretty good at recognising the general patterns that exist to reflect basic emotions however it is a learnt skill that can be strengthened. Various factors such as culture, context and personal history play a role in how each individual expresses emotion as well as how they interpret the emotions of others. So we become more attuned to the intricacies of the emotional patterns of individuals and groups the more we interact with them.
Being able to recognise other people’s emotions enhances our ability to connect, however in doing so we need to make sure we can maintain connection to our own emotions. When another person is suffering, it is a natural and automatic response to take on some of their pain as your own, but we can learn to maintain compassion for this person while protecting our own state of mind.
In Buddhist teachings, practicing compassion (or karuna) allows us to relate someone else’s suffering and provide support without draining ourselves emotionally. This is the idea of “feeling for and not feeling with the other”. Feeling the suffering of another as if it’s your own can often compound the problem and create an unnecessary load for you to carry.
“If you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path.”
Rather than taking on the load of another, a person practicing compassion will provide comfort through being attentive and radiating kindness and peace. This technique recognises the power of our automatic mirror system, and utilises it to cultivate peaceful calmness within both the helper and the suffering person.
It is important to have an understanding of our unconscious processes so that we are aware of the way in which our mirror system works, and we don’t misinterpret another person’s emotions as our own. Without being able to distinguish our own emotions, we lose control over our mood states and we create empathetic stress, which ultimately can lead to ‘burnout’.
“When experienced chronically, empathic distress most likely gives rise to negative health outcomes. On the other hand, compassionate responses are based on positive, other-oriented feelings and the activation of prosocial motivation and behaviour. ”
With mindfulness practice we can learn to stabilise attention, to notice what’s arising in the moment, and stay open to it without indulging negative feelings. This allows us to notice when others are suffering and to look for ways to help them.
Tips to avoid empathetic stress
Breathe.
When we see something distressing, it activates the fight-flight response and our breathing becomes fast and shallow, which increases our anxiety and gives our emotions momentum. Research shows that slow, steady deep breathing activates the vagus nerve which comes from the brain and controls the parasympathetic nervous system, which controls the relaxation response. A few deep breaths will help you feel calmer.
Feel your body.
When you’re witnessing strong emotions in others, choose to stay with yourself rather than getting caught up in their experience. Feel your feet on the ground and wiggle your toes. Bend your knees slightly if you are standing, and feel your butt in the chair supporting you if you’re sitting. Be aware of body sensations and try to visualise these sensations and emotions move through your body as if they are leaves floating down a stream. You have the ability to leave a situation if it becomes too distressing and you find yourself losing touch with your body.
Tips to cultivate compassion
Limit exposure to negativity.
We have a perceptual bias to pay more attention to negative, potentially threatening information. It’s good to be aware of possible threats and problems. But without some perspective-taking, it can lead us to believe that the negative outweighs the positive. Be discerning about the amount of time and attention you give to distressing information on a regular basis.
Practice Loving-Kindness Meditation.
By consciously and regularly imagining yourself, your loved ones, people you feel neutral about, and even people you dislike, experiencing happiness and freedom – you make the world a kinder place. Research in loving-kindness meditation shows that it builds emotional resilience and meaningful social connections which can help you respond to challenges with compassion.
We are currently experiencing a global shift, and we are having to learn to take each moment as it comes. We are being confronted with the reality that nothing is set in stone; we are having to zone in to the present to find comfort.
Facing this uncertainty has created a sense of fear and anxiety within the collective consciousness, which (if we lose touch of ourselves) could be more contagious than the virus itself. By engaging too much in the media’s fear mongering, I’ve found myself getting roped in to the hysteria and often experiencing the broadcasted anxiety as if it is my own. I try to catch myself as soon as I notice this happening, and I bring my attention back to my body and remind myself of the stillness that exists within the present moment.
To reground myself — I strongly plant my feet into the ground, bending at the knees slightly, and I put my arms in front of me, palms facing upwards and I imagine that I’m carrying a huge heavy box. The imaginary weight is so heavy that I have to tense my whole body to keep it lifted. Then, I choose to drop the weight, it crashes to the floor with a heavy thud. I have connected back to my body — I feel lighter, more free.
We can regulate the influence of these widespread negative emotions when we remember to bring our awareness back to the body. It is within our control to choose the emotions we want to experience; instead of fuelling the negativity, we can practice compassion towards ourselves and those around us, and act to cultivate calmness and positivity.
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